I thought I was writing about scaffolding. It turns out I was writing about friendship. This is the story of Squigeon, Goose, a year without pigeons, and why the day they came back brought more than just the sunlight back into my life.
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I Asked the Universe for My Prescription. It Said NO.
A simple trip to collect my medication somehow turned into a desert expedition, a nostalgic taxi ride to 2010, a battle with Boots, a cluster headache, an invasion of bush crickets and, somehow, two jars of reduced SunPat peanut butter. Honestly, the universe just wasn’t on my side that day.
When the Chaos Stops
Turns out impulsively destroying furniture was an excellent distraction. Unfortunately, once the chaos stopped, my brain made up for lost time. Heatwaves, recovery, routine, British summer tapas and one very confused Jellycat croissant all somehow ended up in the same blog post.
A Month Of Sitting With the Discomfort
I thought “sitting with the discomfort” would feel calm, controlled, maybe even empowering. It doesn’t. It feels repetitive, frustrating, and loud. Like arguing with myself every day over the same things. And still, despite all of that, I keep choosing to stay and do it anyway, even when it feels impossible.
A Good Day in Cardiff, Despite Everything.
I was in so much pain, exhausted, and honestly bored of it all. But I still went to Cardiff with my son anyway. It wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t fully present, but it was real. Sometimes life doesn’t hand you a good day. Sometimes you have to make one, even through struggle.
You Can Still Have A Life – Even During Cluster Headache Season.
I almost didn’t write this post because I feel like I’m always the person with another problem. But cluster headaches are part of my life for months every year. Hiding them never helped me. Even during relic malfunctions and pain, life still happens - sausage rolls, book towns, and Minecraft houses full of chickens.
The Audacity of Ice to Be Slippery
Four hours of sleep, a pigeon in my coat, birthday presents in a paper bag, and the BBC cutting away from a gold medal performance. The ice was slippery in more ways than one. Depression didn’t cancel the day - it just made everything louder. But the good bits were still there.
The Day I Forgot to be Anxious (Which Gave Me Anxiety)
I forgot to be anxious about my medication. No calendar-counting. No tablet-recounting. No catastrophic spirals. I simply… forgot. And when I realised I’d forgotten, I immediately became anxious about forgetting to be anxious. Which is how I discovered, standing in a Boots queue, that my medication increase might actually be working.
What I Eat in a Day: The 42 Year Old, High Protein, But No Greek Yoghurt Edition
A real “what I eat in a day” from a 42-year-old in recovery who hates Greek yoghurt, needs 150g of protein, and lives on big bowls of food and nightly quark rituals. Not advice, just what actually works for my goblin metabolism and keeps my blood sugar and brain from mutinying.
The Festive Bake I Forgot, and the Life I Remembered
I meant to get a festive bake, but accidentally walked home in a full Cyberpunk flow state instead. Somehow, lowering my meal plan gave me back my legs, my mood, and the ability to enjoy rain again. I’m exhausted by living, but today I’m still glad I’m alive.
Absurd Universe 