Grief, ED recovery, Mental Health and all the lovely things that give my Sisyphean rock meaning
Pretty Painful Grief Letters doesn’t ask you to process or “move on.” It simply sits with you, honest and raw. Grief is lonely, but this book makes it a little less so — like having someone beside you who understands the ache without needing to fix it.
I’ve tried grief therapy. It didn’t work. This book - The Pretty Painful Grief Book - actually is. It doesn’t sugar-coat or preach. It just asks the right questions. Some of them hurt. Some made me cry. But they helped. This post is about how I’m using it, and why it matters.
Every time I eat, I feel her absence more. The last time I recovered, she was here. This time, she’s gone - and now the grief is louder than ever. I’m eating, I’m crying, I’m remembering. Recovery isn’t separating grief from food. It’s learning to carry both, one bite at a time.
I still visit you through your blog, your home in the digital world. The world got darker when you left, but you’re still a constant guiding light. I light this candle for you — not as a goodbye, but as a hello again. You’re always with me. I miss you.
Grief is a wave function. It runs in the background, unseen, until it collapses. I held mine off for years to be strong for my son. But after 2023, it caught up with me — and I’m still petrified. Grief, love, fear — it’s all tangled. And this isn’t even everything.
Grief and relapse go hand in hand. The person I’d turn to for strength is the one I’m grieving. I’ve retreated into survival mode — the airlock, as I call it. It numbs the grief and quiets my thoughts, but it’s a trap. Right now? It’s where I am
Some of my Bartholomew Bears In my last post, Hardest to Be - My anorexia relapse at 40 I brought in a metaphor to describe my current mental health status. When I refer to my broken castle in this post, I’m talking about my ongoing anorexia relapse and the struggle with grief, my mental health, …
Continue reading Lean on Me – Jellycat Bears in Times of Crisis.
Absurd Universe 