Grief and relapse go hand in hand. The person I’d turn to for strength is the one I’m grieving. I’ve retreated into survival mode — the airlock, as I call it. It numbs the grief and quiets my thoughts, but it’s a trap. Right now? It’s where I am
Tag: mental health support
I Tried Self Care and All I Got Was a Nicer Place to Cry
Self care is supposed to help you feel better, but when you’re battling depression, it can feel like a chore with little payoff. I created Pinterest-worthy spaces and tried everything, but the crash still came. At least now I know: it’s better to cry in a cosy haven.
Psychiatrist Cancelled, I Cried, Then I Bought Jellycats in Cardiff
When my psychiatrist appointment was cancelled during a mental health crisis, I felt adrift. Instead of spiraling, I escaped to Cardiff—a place that usually feels like home. This is about frustration, yes, but also continuing to keep on keeping on when the system fails to show up.
The Love for my Son Transcends Space, Time… and the Black Hole of Depression.
These new Jellycats aren’t just adorable— they’re symbols of love, and the light my space baby brings even near the black hole of depression. From Sir Isaac pondering the gravity of peanuts to adorably caffeinated plushie coffees, they remind me that together, we transcend space, time, and darkness.
Against the Gravity: Fighting to Keep My Entire Self from the Black Hole
Navigating life near a depression black hole, I find hope in small moments: pigeons at my window, a Blueberry fan club, and physics books that ground me. Even when it feels impossible, these moments remind me who I am — a person who celebrates love, connection, and the light within
Embracing Snowy Moments: A Birthday Reflection and Starbucks – It’s My Party
On my 41st birthday, snow transformed the day into something rare and magical. My teen and I bundled up, ventured out, and even braved some long-held fears with a Starbucks meal. Later, depression and a headache crashed into the evening, but the beauty of the day — and the courage it took to embrace it — reminded me that even fleeting joy is worth celebrating.
Still Alive – The Birthday Cake Is a Lie: Reflections on Turning 41
As I approach my 41st birthday, I reflect on the complexities of life: grief from losing my best friend, WeeGee, and ongoing battles with mental illness. Birthdays remind me of love lost and the importance of healing, which is not about curing but living amidst struggles. My journey continues, intertwined with memories and resilience.
I Can See Clearly Now – New Glasses and the Cosmic Alignment of the Moon.
The author shares a reflective account of their particularly eventful Thursday, starting with collecting new glasses from Specsavers. Excited about clearer vision, they enjoy a day filled with family moments, coffee at Starbucks, and an unexpected cluster headache. Experiencing beauty in small details, they find joy and clarity in everyday events.
The Night We Met – Castle Building Update – 10 November
Having my castle collapse — and now rebuilding it — is the metaphor I’m using for my eating disorder and my recovery from it. Being concise isn’t exactly my strong suit, probably thanks to ADHD — I could talk for Wales! So I thought my castle-building updates deserved their own space. These posts won’t follow …
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Be More Kind – Grief and The Battle of the Corporate Festive Sandwiches
I went shopping in Marks & Spencer today with my teen. We were there to pick up some treats after our Specsavers adventure, and as I looked into the sandwich fridge through the crowd of work people frantically grabbing their meal-deal lunches, there it was — the Turkey Feast sandwich, in all its festive glory. …
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Absurd Universe 