A day in Cardiff with my son: blood tests, NHS rage, plushies, coffee, and the reminder that recovery — though exhausting — is worth it. We celebrated with bath bombs and bears, laughed at cathedral flats, and found light in the dark, together.
Grief, ED recovery, Mental Health and all the lovely things that give my Sisyphean rock meaning
A day in Cardiff with my son: blood tests, NHS rage, plushies, coffee, and the reminder that recovery — though exhausting — is worth it. We celebrated with bath bombs and bears, laughed at cathedral flats, and found light in the dark, together.
Recovery has been chaos — crying, swelling, and thigh muscles outgrowing knee sleeves. But between the spirals, I found soft moments: plush pigeons, macramé bows, iced coffee with my son. Small, silly joys that felt like little lights in the dark. Somehow, they’ve been enough to keep me going.
Bartholomew Bear Junior arrived during a rough week, and brought more comfort than I expected. A tiny bear with big softness, sent when I needed it most. I’m so grateful to Jellycat for the kindness - and to Biscoff, who’s learning how to be a big brother, crumbs and all.
Recovery didn’t bring joy rushing back. It brought pain. Grief. The feelings I ran from. But I keep going- eating, walking, packing a Jellycat - because I want to be here when joy returns. Not the muted kind, but real joy. The kind that stays. The kind that wraps me in fluffiness.
During one of the hardest weeks of my life, my son handed me a purple Liberty bag with a Jellycat bear inside. This is the story of Enfys — a rainbow in bear form — and how she reminded me I’m loved, even when I can’t feel it.
Biscoff the Bear has arrived, and frankly, he’s the best decision I’ve ever made mid-breakdown. He’s soft. He’s chonky. He’s emotionally supportive and doesn’t judge my reactive Biscoff binges. He even has his own jar. 10/10 life coach. Would cuddle again.
Every Tuesday, my son has a long day at university. While he’s off being brilliant, he leaves his Jellycat bear—Cutie Patootie—in my care for a bit of “bearsitting.” This post is full of adorable snapshots of me fulfilling my grandma duties to my son’s bear, complete with snacks, cuddles, and spoiling galore.
This week had its struggles, but there were little lights in the dark—small moments that kept me going. I made a macrame bow and bag for St David’s Day, filmed adorable TikToks with my bears, and challenged a cheesy hot cross bun. Oh, and I may have become a feral gherkin goblin.
I never expected this. Jellycat reached out and sent me a surprise package—and not just a little keyring, but a full Jellycat haul! As someone who’s never been ‘picked’ for things, this meant more than just plushies. Here’s what they sent me—and why it mattered so much.
When my psychiatrist appointment was cancelled during a mental health crisis, I felt adrift. Instead of spiraling, I escaped to Cardiff—a place that usually feels like home. This is about frustration, yes, but also continuing to keep on keeping on when the system fails to show up.