Friday was a hard day (well, it became two). I’m in early recovery from an anorexia relapse. There were CHAOS GREMLIN Biscoff binges and zero sleep—but also moments of clarity, love, bears, bath bombs, and reminders of why I’m still trying.
Picking Up A Pencil Again After 3 Years.
Three years ago, I gave up drawing because of pain that felt like a heart attack. Now, in the middle of a relapse—and a storm—I picked up a pencil again. This post is about art, disability, grief, and the terrifying hope that maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to let go again.
Recovery Update – The Hokey Cokey and The Return of the Chicken Shawarma
Recovery isn’t just about eating the food—it’s about the mental war behind it. This week, I challenged Clippy and pushed past fear foods, even if I cried after. It’s messy and exhausting, but I’m doing it slowly, in a way that works for my body. That still counts.
Wordless Wednesday – Babysitting A Cutie Patootie
Every Tuesday, my son has a long day at university. While he’s off being brilliant, he leaves his Jellycat bear—Cutie Patootie—in my care for a bit of “bearsitting.” This post is full of adorable snapshots of me fulfilling my grandma duties to my son’s bear, complete with snacks, cuddles, and spoiling galore.
Reaching My ED Goal Weight Didn’t Save Me.
I reached my goal weight, and I lost everything. My joy, my passions, the parts of me that made life feel real. I thought it would make things better. It didn’t. Nothing is better here. Clippy lied — and I miss the version of me I was before I listened.
The Aftermath of Taking the D
Took 25,000 IU of vitamin D and my body said “no thanks” by collapsing, rash included. Spent Mother’s Day shrimped on the sofa, ragey and weak. Still ate food. Still cried. Still blogging. Recovery arc: glitchy. Perfectionism can piss off—I’ve got knees that fold and a blog backlog now.
Wordless Wednesday – Matcha Moments
Yesterday I spiralled, I felt the pressure of the ED black hole, So I spent a moment with a bear, And a mug of matcha hugged my soul.
The One Where I Take the Biggest D Known To Man.
I took the biggest D known to man—25,000 IU of swamp-flavoured regret—and somehow, today felt better. Between the compression leggings, noise-cancelling headphones, and bravery it took to put cheese in beans, I found a moment of calm. Not cured, just coping—with a little penguin, some wax melts, and hope.
How I’m Prioritising Myself In ED Recovery
Prioritising myself isn’t just a cute wellness trend—it’s necessary. Recovery isn’t waiting for perfect conditions; it’s making it work in reality. I’ve started structuring my days around what I want, creating comfort, and finding support in new places. It’s helping—but prioritising yourself isn’t always easy, or without grief.
ED Recovery Update – The Night of the Biscoff Weetabix
I went from ultra-controlled to absolute chaos goblin in seconds. My body took over, demanding everything it had been denied. Peanut butter, Biscoff, sandwiches, cereal—MORE, MORE, MORE. And for the first time in a year, I was full. Then came the regret, the panic, and a realisation: something has to change.
