January wouldn’t let up, and when the calendar ticked over to February 1st, I was filled with a little hope for the month of doom finally being behind me. That hope lasted exactly one day. On the night of February 1st, whilst eating a Fruit Shortcake biscuit in bed to protect my stomach from the onslaught of my nightly Quetiapine, my tooth dramatically decided to crumble.

It’s not like I even ate a Ginger Nut. It was a Fruit Shortcake. A crumbly, melt-in-the-mouth biscuit. My tooth was BESTED by a raisin — a raisin that apparently had an advanced targeting system to land in just the right place to dislodge a filling and take a chunk of tooth with it. Docking a rocket with the space station requires less precision than that.

At first, I thought the sharpness in my mouth was one of those weird hard raisins, so I swallowed it without realising I had just consumed part of my own tooth – EW. Picture this: it’s the early hours of February 2nd, I rush to the bathroom, stare in the mirror in horror at my now dentin exposed, spiky rock-textured tooth, then return to my bedroom, lit only by the eerie glow of my iPhone, to Google “Can swallowing a filling kill you?”

I lay there thinking, “This is it, isn’t it? I’ve been through all of these battles, and now a raisin is going to be one fight too many”. Thankfully Google said my demise was not imminent unless I’d inhaled it and I thought WAY too much about that.

And of course, this isn’t just a minor inconvenience — it’s another financial hit at a time when I can’t afford one. The amount of stress I’ve been through since January 1st is already unbelievable, and now I have to somehow find the money to fix my tooth. A crown is out of the question financially, and with how much of my tooth is missing, I’ll probably have to have it removed instead. Ugh Corrupted Clippy — the name I give my eating disordered thoughts — is going to LOVE that.

With my dentist closed until Monday, there was nothing I could do but wait. And at this point, waiting is the worst part — waiting to figure out what I can afford, what I’ll have to lose, and how to deal with it.

So, I did what anyone in crisis would do — I turned to Animal Crossing and sought solace in The Roost. Because clearly, when dealing with financial stress, the best escape is a much cosier version of capitalism, where I also owe Tom Nook an absurd amount of bells.

Croeso i Seren – Welcome to Seren

I haven’t played Animal Crossing for so long. I went on the run from Tom Nooks extortionate demands. I got far too hyperfixated with Cyberpunk 2077 and The Long Dark – Tales From The Far Territory expansion so Animal Crossing didn’t get any attention. Due to my eating disorder and current depression Cyberpunk 2077 and the Long Dark are out of the question. I need immersion for those games, and my brain, in it’s current state, categorically refuses to allow that.

Animal Crossing is perfect though, it doesn’t require immersion, so I thought it would be the perfect place to spend my stressful waiting mode Sunday. The overwhelming sensory nightmare of my tooth which felt like licking a rock every time my tongue decided to go near it was too much. It was made even worse by periodically crumbling even more. The tooth was grating on my sensory issues as much as it was grating my tongue and I needed an IMMEDIATE distraction.

I really missed my island, it’s called Seren, and it has a star, bear and Welsh city theme. Even though I’d abandoned it for months, Seren was still there, waiting. I felt guilty for neglecting Seren, especially my favourite villagers of all time that live there, Teddy and Tutu. Thankfully they didn’t move out in my absence, shame Cookie didn’t leave though we do not get on.

Seren has a lovely big castle, canals, and a housing area on multiple levels like a little Welsh valley. I had an island that was completely finished, but then, in a moment of questionable decision-making, I deleted it and started again. So now I have a half finished Seren, and I have no idea what to put in the remaining spaces.

I walked around my island wondering what I could do next, I definitely need more waterfalls, maybe a camp site, I definitely need a place to stargaze and I want to turn my castle into a Starbucks or a pub. There are plenty of pubs around castles, in castles or named after them in Wales. I’m surprised there isn’t already a Starbucks in a castle, they are everywhere else. My island is definitely missing a Greggs too, my villagers deserve sausage rolls.

My island has so many custom designs, I wanted to design all of them myself instead of using someone else’s. I’ve made star roads, pavements, signs, everything on my island is mine. I have also made so many coats and jumpers in star and bear themes to match my island. I walked around my island alone, watching the stunning sunset and planning renovations by staring at my map, but, I wasn’t alone for long.

Looks Like Someone Is On Their Way Here

Having a green sign saying, “Someone is on their way here” roll across your screen every few minutes while being forced to stop moving when you’re being a big cheater on a treasure island is so annoying. However, when I know my son is on his way to my island the same green sign rolling across my screen fills me with excitement. We have so much fun together in Animal Crossing.

My son has been playing and simultaneously getting very hyperfixated with the new Hello Kitty game, so I was so happy he still wanted to play with me. He must really love me to spend time with me on Seren when everything inside of his brain is screaming at him to spend more time with Kuromi. He arrives on Seren and we run in circles at each other in excitement outside the airport. I have missed seeing his little character so much.

We first decided to head to the museum and go to the Roost, it has rave reviews for its signature blend of coffee served only on Seren. However Brewster, the Roost’s barista, can get a bit insistent on offering me pigeon milk at times. Pigeon milk aside, The Roost boasts a wonderful ambience with its dark wood, deep greens, and the gentle sounds of its cosy music. We sat at a table, and we had a magical version of table service – the coffees just appeared instantly in front of us. If you’re wondering how a pigeon carries two coffees to the table, you will not find the answer at The Roost.

Watching our characters drink coffee suddenly made me crave one in real life. Liquids, however, are terrible when your tooth is doing an impression of a pumice stone. Still, something about The Roost made my coffee craving strong enough to push through the rocky nightmare in my mouth.

As if on the exact same wavelength as me, my son suggested we make coffee and stay in The Roost drinking them with our characters. What a brilliant idea. He offered to make it for me, and just like in the game, my coffee magically appeared in front of me in real life too. We just sat cradling our coffees, which for some reason always smell even more inviting at night, imagining we were actually in the Roost.

My head was full of stressful thoughts from sitting in the quiet. But that wasn’t all it felt full of – there were also the igneous rocks disguised as my tooth, made more obvious with every sip of coffee. Still, I tried hard to stay in the moment with my son – in real life, and in Animal Crossing. After finishing our coffees, we decided to get another coffee to take out and visit Seren’s museum. The aquarium was calling.

Something Fishy Is Going On Here

My son and I love fish, my son especially so. He gets so happy watching the fish in the Animal Crossing aquarium. He loves to fish in games too, in fact, the games he loves most all have a fishing mini game. He’ll stand there for hours fishing, and I stand with him watching him live his best video game life catching yet another C+ sea bass.

Due to my propensity for cheating and time travelling in cosy games, I was able to get an entire inventory full of fish bait from a treasure island. One weekend I surprised my son with dropping them all at his feet, he LOVED that (and me) so much. He had the best weekend fishing with bait and used all of it too. I even had to run and get more. It’s why my aquarium actually has sharks in it.

I have quite a few fish and sharks in my aquarium but there are still around 30 I do not have. My son said he’d love to finish his fish collection for his islands aquarium. I think I might join in and finish mine too, and then visiting the aquarium will be even more fun. Despite 30 fish being missing from the Seren aquarium it is still an enjoyable must see tourist destination.

My son and I stood together watching the fish in the giant tank, and it reminded me of the drawing he drew for me. “It’s better with you”, everything is better with him – today is better with him, dealing with this rocky tooth is better with him, life is better with him.

Everything is also better with dinosaurs, so after the aquarium we also went to the dinosaur and insect exhibits, but they were desperately underfunded with fossils and bugs. I tried to complain to the manager but he said, “Twit Twoo” I think that means it’s my job to fill it. Due to the fact there wasn’t much to see we headed outside still sipping our take out coffees.

Wish Upon A Shooting Star

When we exited the museum it was night time, and the sky over Seren was filled with shooting stars. Isabelle had mentioned the event when I first loaded my island and I thought it was the most perfect timing. We set about finding Celeste but she was no where to be found. We kept running around the entirety of Seren shouting for her to no avail. Despite the lack of my favourite bird, we were still so excited to watch the stars.

Wishing on stars on my starry island is my most favourite thing to do in Animal Crossing. I love to stand on the rocks by the sea to the north of my island and just watch them. My son and I stood there for around an hour, making wishes and hoping they would come true, both of us trying to stay present in the moment. Lately, the stress I have been going through has robbed me of completely peaceful moments.

There is only momentary peace as the static of the stress is always running in the background fighting to become centre focus. It has become hard work to stay in the present moment, but being on Seren was still peaceful in its own way. It was so quiet aside from the sounds of the sea lapping the rocks, and the little cute sounds of the shooting stars.

Playing with my son today though, made me feel a bit more relaxed than I have been lately. That’s something to be very grateful for given my tooth had disintegrated further while playing and is still very much a rock. I am also grateful for the Roost, the coffee with my son, and him spending time with me on Seren even though he loves Kuromi so much. Here’s hoping the wish I made on a shooting star – for my tooth to be an easier fix than I’m imagining – comes true. If not, I’ll be back on Seren wishing for more money, maybe I should have wished for that first.

Here’s the perfect song to go with this post.
Let’s waste time
Watching stars
Above our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

Note :- I wrote this post on Sunday 3rd February, but as it’ll be Wednesday when I publish I have an update for you. I phoned my dentist on Monday, and my emergency appointment is today. Wish me luck!