Grief, ED recovery, Mental Health and all the lovely things that give my Sisyphean rock meaning
When everything crumbled — blood tests, eating disorder relapse, endless chaos — I leaned into maximum entropy. Physics couldn’t fix it, but it made sense of the mess. So, while our universe succumbed to entropy, I bleached my son’s hair. Order emerged in the chaos, his hair flawless, my new Jellycat pig, Hamilton, watching.
I still visit you through your blog, your home in the digital world. The world got darker when you left, but you’re still a constant guiding light. I light this candle for you — not as a goodbye, but as a hello again. You’re always with me. I miss you.
Grief is a wave function. It runs in the background, unseen, until it collapses. I held mine off for years to be strong for my son. But after 2023, it caught up with me — and I’m still petrified. Grief, love, fear — it’s all tangled. And this isn’t even everything.
I started macramé thinking, “I could probably do that.” Fast forward to today, and my flat, my bears, and every plushie in sight are covered in knotted creations. What began as a way to save money became an unexpected act of love — crafting, knot by knot, for those I care about most.
We have a brand new Jellycat friend in the Seren household, but before I properly introduce you to him, I’d like to introduce you to someone else: my dad. 2020 was the year my best friend, WeeGee, died. It was also the last time I saw my dad. He’s the most intelligent person I've ever …
Continue reading Ode to My Family – My Dad, and My New Jellycat Fox
Absurd Universe 