Grief, ED recovery, Mental Health and all the lovely things that give my Sisyphean rock meaning
When everything crumbled — blood tests, eating disorder relapse, endless chaos — I leaned into maximum entropy. Physics couldn’t fix it, but it made sense of the mess. So, while our universe succumbed to entropy, I bleached my son’s hair. Order emerged in the chaos, his hair flawless, my new Jellycat pig, Hamilton, watching.
Squidgeon and Goose arrived in my life during a time when grief and isolation felt overwhelming. They perched on my windowsill, not just as birds, but as little carriers of hope. Through their antics, trust, and fluffy presence, they reminded me that even in loneliness, connection can unexpectedly find you.
Grief is a wave function. It runs in the background, unseen, until it collapses. I held mine off for years to be strong for my son. But after 2023, it caught up with me — and I’m still petrified. Grief, love, fear — it’s all tangled. And this isn’t even everything.
Frankie Frog, my son’s Build-a-Bear, became a harbinger of connection during a dark year of grief and relapse. We threw him a birthday party with cake, sandwiches, and Froggy wine. He’s more than a plushie — he’s comfort, chaos, and a reminder that love and joy persist, even through the fog.
These new Jellycats aren’t just adorable— they’re symbols of love, and the light my space baby brings even near the black hole of depression. From Sir Isaac pondering the gravity of peanuts to adorably caffeinated plushie coffees, they remind me that together, we transcend space, time, and darkness.
Plushies have always been a love language for me, symbolising comfort, connection, and hope. From my son's Jellycat birthday cake to earrings that reflect my journey of healing, each gift tells a story of love and resilience. This birthday gift haul reminded me how deeply I’m seen, valued, and celebrated
On my 41st birthday, snow transformed the day into something rare and magical. My teen and I bundled up, ventured out, and even braved some long-held fears with a Starbucks meal. Later, depression and a headache crashed into the evening, but the beauty of the day — and the courage it took to embrace it — reminded me that even fleeting joy is worth celebrating.
We have a brand new Jellycat friend in the Seren household, but before I properly introduce you to him, I’d like to introduce you to someone else: my dad. 2020 was the year my best friend, WeeGee, died. It was also the last time I saw my dad. He’s the most intelligent person I've ever …
Continue reading Ode to My Family – My Dad, and My New Jellycat Fox
Some of my Bartholomew Bears In my last post, Hardest to Be - My anorexia relapse at 40 I brought in a metaphor to describe my current mental health status. When I refer to my broken castle in this post, I’m talking about my ongoing anorexia relapse and the struggle with grief, my mental health, …
Continue reading Lean on Me – Jellycat Bears in Times of Crisis.
Absurd Universe 