During one of the hardest weeks of my life, my son handed me a purple Liberty bag with a Jellycat bear inside. This is the story of Enfys — a rainbow in bear form — and how she reminded me I’m loved, even when I can’t feel it.
Author: Absurd Rhio
Hello frens! 42 yo plushie loving mum from Wales, UK
Day 10 – Recovery Is NOT Playing Pipe Dream
Recovery isn’t just about food—it’s about everything that not eating kept buried. On Day 10, grief, bipolar symptoms, trauma, and even sinusitis hit all at once. I tried to fix it all, fast. But recovery isn’t Pipe Dream. I can’t stop the leaks—I have to survive the flood.
Day 7 of Recovery – May the Full Force of Your Bipolar Disorder Be With You.
Recovery with bipolar isn’t just hard—it’s a war between two dark sides. Anorexia gives stability. Eating gives chaos. I fight Darth Bipolar every time I eat. There’s no lightsaber, no peace, just me—dragging myself through it, hoping it’s worth it. Maybe the only way out… is through
Recovery With the Nostalgia of Woolworths Pick N Mix and Butter Biscuits
I made jars of sweets filled with memories — my nan’s Quality Street, WeeGee’s Jellytots, and buttery biscuits that felt like home. These aren’t just snacks. They’re comfort, legacy, and a little bit of healing in every wrapper. Sometimes recovery is sugar-coated — and maybe that’s exactly what I needed
Day 4 of Recovery – Weight As a Unit of Time
On Day 4 of recovery, I gained 3kg and lost the ability to pretend I’m not grieving. Weight, for me, is a unit of time. I didn’t just gain kilos - I got dragged further from my best friend, who isn’t in this future. And today, I finally felt it.
Day One – A Day in the Life of My Real Recovery
Recovery didn’t start with a grand moment. It started with panic, meltdowns, grocery aisles, excitement and a macchiato. Day One wasn’t perfect — but it was mine. I fought for my life in small rebellions: biscuits, salad bowls, olives, and coffee. It was messy, brave, terrifying — and beautifully, finally, real.
Collapsing the Wave Function – Choosing Recovery For Real This Time
This isn't a choice, it's a vow. I'm not doing this because it's easy or aesthetic - I'm doing it because I refuse to stay lost. Anorexia recovery is hell. It always was. But I'm done putting my toe in the water. I'm swearing to fight for myself. No illusions. Lets jump in head first.
Peanut Butter Toast and the Superposition of Recovery
ED Recovery is a superposition - I’m in and out of it at the same time. Sometimes I’m brave, sometimes the chaos goblin makes me eat half a block of cheese and I feel shame. Sometimes I want to crawl back into the paperclip arms of Clippy. Tonight though? I made peanut butter toast without spiralling.
Cluster Headaches: A Lived Experience of Pain, Bears, and Coffee-Based Coping
Cluster headaches aren’t migraines — they’re worse. This post isn’t medical advice; it’s my lived experience inside one of the most painful, misunderstood conditions out there. Written mid-episode, with humour, rage, and the occasional ridiculous t-shirt, this is what it means to be diagnosed with Cluster Headaches.
The Day I Finally Felt Her Again – Grief Glimmers of WeeGee
I didn’t expect to feel her again. But there she was — in a glimmer on the pavement, in two ducks blocking the path, in my chest where grief lives. For the first time in years, I felt her presence instead of her absence. Like maybe… we’re still walking together.
Absurd Universe 